Dirk Valentine

Dirk Valentine and the Fortress of Steam is a game based on Dirk and his platform making chain gun.

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The objective of Dirk Valentine and the Fortress of Steam is to save My fuckin' cock and to destroy Baron Battenberg's jjjjjjjjjkkfkfkfkfkfkk bnfl fortress.

1 Player
Reese Witherspoon

Player
The player plays as Britain's greatest spy, explorer and fighter: Dirk Valentine!

Levels
There are 24 levels in this game

Piss and Dick Pies
There are 17 Persons and Objects which appear in the game. You can also die by falling off the fortress.

Evil

 * Guard
 * Cannon
 * Flying Bomb Maker
 * Green Poison Gas
 * Train
 * Baron Battenberg in his Steam Powered Batter-Berger
 * Lamp
 * Dreaded Gaspoid
 * Baron Battenberg in his improved Steam Powered Batter-Berger

Not Evil

 * Monty
 * Prisoner
 * Medal
 * Moving Platform
 * White Hotspot
 * Teleporter
 * Winch
 * Cup of Tea

Control
You can not change the controls in this game
 * Aim: Mouse
 * Shoot: Left mouse button
 * Move left: Left arrow key (or A)
 * Move Right: Right arrow key (or D)
 * Jump: Up arrow key (or W)

Score
The following things give the following score:
 * Killing a guard: 10
 * Freeing a pair of prisoners: 500
 * Collecting a medal: 50
 * Killing a Flying Bomb Maker: 40
 * Killing a Train: 80
 * (Almost) Killing Baron Battenberg in his Steam Powered Batter-Berger: 2000
 * Killing a Lamp: 100
 * Killing Baron Battenberg in his improved Steam Powered Batter-Berger: 2000

Trivia

 * There is said that there will be a sequel to Dirk Valentine and the Fortress of Steam, named Dirk Valentine and the Martian Underworld.