User blog:Grammar Cat/My brother's message

Hello there wikians! My brother and I were playing around with messages then he sent me one recently. It is very funny so I wanted to share it with you people. Oh yeah, it is really long! Go ahead and comment after you read this.

Harassment
Hello.

Nitrome Wiki admins, I am being harassed by a sadistic and cruel user called Grammar Cat. A slacker and navel gazer - as all you good and intelligent Nitromians who edit this lovely place can see - she used to edit a lot, adding information we could get through beatings and torture of other Nitromians.

She is now a first degree slacker who returns to pick up people to edit her abandoned and rarely edited wikis, which - as all you intelligent and right-minded people can obviously see - are rarely edited and visited by anyone. That's right all you fellow editors, she is recruiting users and inputting a devilish thought into their minds that a group actually wants to read these political and Orwellian propaganda rants which are cleverly and ever so subtly hidden in under these innocuous sections titled "Game information", "Appearance", and whatever other title her plotting little mind can thing up.

In failed attempts to bring me over to this time-wasting madness, she has ever so constantly returned and made blog posts documenting the wiki. Clever readers and all you knowledgeable in Nitrome's culture and game design will easily be able to tell that these blog posts - if you look carefully enough - promise goodness and prosperity, which they even so slightly do not provide. Videos and inserted, humorous (but never really happened) events are stated, but from experience, these never happen.

Coupled with unreliable sources, grammar-error ridden text - yes, this is the wiki she is trying to show to the intelligent group of editors that we call "The Nitrome Wiki community". As previously spoken in much debate, she has failed to pull the nucleus (me) from the opposing atom (the Nitrome Wiki), and has such reverted to seemingly funny and humorous wordplay and speech in this and this.

The first message shows her apparent overflowing madness and insanity, not in general black-and-white (think Gameboy), but in flashing rainbow colours (thing Gameboy Advance). The title of the message "I Will NOT!!!" has "NOT" as though yelling, followed by three exclamation marks. This, although passed off as simply just exaggeration, really shows a lot. Her slack and incorrect use of exclamation marks show she apparently has poor grammar or no grammar skills at all, and "NOT" being capitalized shows she shows some high offense to something I have said.

The entire message goes on to say that she will not eat my face, and suggests a change on name for myself if she does. This entire message implies that I have told her to eat my face, but surely, I would not do anything so mindless and stupid like that (oh she might, but then, am I her? No). She then tells me to do the impossible and "Go eat your own face!", which, notably, cannot be done. You clever readers will likely be able to see that impossibility is superfluous throughout the message, as she says that after I theoretically eat my own face, people will laugh at me.

What people? The community? Perhaps, but then, they will see the error of their ways and their violation of the policy, dismiss, and return to editing. So as you can see, this is not the community she is talking about, which, implies kidnapping and taken to a far away land - her land, perhaps? Or maybe to her laboratory when he tools of deception are made and produced.

"Once again, go eat your own face! " is the penultimate statement of this message. This shows a lot, like the title. What is shown is that she has a short attention span - capable of forgetting facts within minutes. Does this not also explain more of her insanity, and possibly, where her insanity came from? The final part of this message is the seemingly completely unconnected final statement "My grandmother said 'Bake them a cake'." A grandmother, an unmentioned group of people, baking, a cake - do these have anything to do with the message, or are they hidden code of some sort? It possibly implies that the evil group who will laugh at me when I eat my face will consequently be rewarded with "cake".

This is not the end of these disturbing and harassing letters, for she has sent me another. This message shows that she must not only have logic problems, but also problems with the passing of time, and poor - ever so poor - knowledge of Wiki software. This message implies that I have eaten my face. As with the previous message, if it implies this, it also implies the impossible - that I can read this message (which I could not if I had no face).

This message is the most violent and offensive message of the two that I have received, as in the first sentence, I am called a "faceless facetard". Now, these two words suggest violence, as the right-triangle synonym "faceless" and insult participle "facetard" imply violence, as the right-triangle synonym implies injury, while the insult participle implies violence - "facetard", a fusion of "face" "tart" and "lard", the ingredients to a rocket-propelled grenade. Surely, this wiki cannot allow violent usage of words, and the users to go unpunished, can it?

The next sentence goes on to show the evil and wickedness of this user, who "just stopped by" - does anyone, other than being evil, ever stop by to cause pain? Furthermore, she multiplies her violence by three when she calls me a "facetard, facetard". She not only stops there, but implies that I would be so hurt to begin "crying". Knowing that this would happens, she leaves a giant sentient glove to exact pain and anguish on me should I so over begin to cry.

Finally, she ends her message with the assumption that these rocket propelled grenades have been dropped on me, and that I am without no face. The penultimate sentence "Oh wait, you don't have a face!" proves my later argument. With this in mind, she tells me to perform the impossible, yet again - to cry. Without a face, how would I do this?

My in-depth showing you of this message not only reveals the deceitful, wicked, insane, time-wasting madness, but that, with these in mind, I believe she has the necessary weapons (and equipment) to show this wickedness to all users. Do we really want the population of editors here to dwindle because of this insane girl's rant? My honest opinion is that we should ban her - the tyrant should be prevented from unleashing her evil powers of wrath among this kind community. The time? Infinite, of course. You have seen what she has done, you have seen what she is capable of. The state of her mind, to, is insane.

Yes and no voting will commense soon, but bear with me, please read all the above carefully and cast your vote below to send this tyrant to the place that she deserves - the block log. Vote truthfully, vote with full understanding in what I am saying, and we can punish her!

Ar.

-- 17:54, September 28, 2013 (UTC)